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Presents you should not give and
what hidden messages your gifts convey
Some presents obviously should never be given, as they are simply destructive, such as a bottle of liquor for someone with a drinking problem or candy gifts to somebody trying to loose weight.
However, there are plenty of gifts that fail to please for not so obvious reasons even though the giver thought he had all the best intentions.
Presents that are most likely to be rejected:
Obligatory gifts would be at the top of the list.
When somebody arrives with a bottle of cheap after-shave lotion or any other useless gift that will be instantly put either into a trash or a donation bag, they will clearly come across as somebody who bought a gift only from obligation.
Message: I don’t care about your likes and needs, I don’t really care what you will think of me either.
When not sure if the person really needs a certain item it’s always safe to go for something that at least is not going to clutter up the house unnecessarily for example some wine gifts or gourmet food gift baskets, brand perfume gifts or other presents that get used up.
Gifts that are designed to ‘improve’ the recipient
Even if you think your husband is a real couch potato and needs to lose some weight a membership in the health club is not going to inspire him unless this is what he desires.
Your girlfriend or wife is not necessarily going to love the black filmy lingerie that you gave her, thinking it will make her look more sexy.
Don’t try to change the person into what you want them to be. Anything that is pushing it on to the receiver is most likely to be rejected.
Message: I am not happy with who you are, I don’t appreciate who you really are.
Overpractical gifts
Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas,~ Kin Hubbard
And not just for children.
Unless you are totally sure that the person really needs and wants another pot or a set of tools try to avoid these kind of gifts. A gift is not really a gift if it doesn’t give a person a break from the daily household routine.
Message: with this gift I am reminding you of your role in domestic upkeep
Unless your wife or mother asked you for one, instead of buying her a fancy ironing board make her feel admired by giving her favourite perfume gift or a piece of jewellery. Or give her a break from the daily chores by presenting her with a gift certificate to a pampering spa centre.
Gifts that the giver shopped for themselves
We’ve all got sweaters that we shoved in a closet somewhere or a book we never came to read, as it didn’t match our style nor our interests etc.
Make sure the gift isn’t about you. Remember not everyone shares your taste in fashion, music and blue is not everyone’s favourite colour. Be a thoughtful giver. Pay attention to the person’s hobbies and interests, styles and colours the person likes and is likely to use. Choose a present that will bring pleasure to the receiver.
Message: I don’t have a clue or consider important what you like. After all I think my taste is better than yours.
Challenging gifts
One of the examples of this kind of gift is when parents buy their kid a game or a book that is too challenging for their age.
Only because parents think it’s time for their 3 year old to learn how to play chess is not going to bring pleasure to the child.
Message: I chose you this gift because I know better what you need, it’s not really important what you need.
Some of the gifts that are highly unlikely to impress:
Appliances people already have
Gift-boxed meat selection for vegetarians
Clothes that don't fit
Tasteless, cheap synthetic clothes
Socks and ties for the sixth year in a row
Things that someone else didn't want or you need to get rid of
Gadgets that wear out after a week or two
Expensive toy gifts for kids they will be not allowed to play with when parents are not around
Slim Fast for Valentine's Day.
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